How’s everyone’s weekend going? Thanks for spending a portion of it with the Six.
The name Connor Stallions will forever live in sports infamy. But as is often the case when sports stories make global headlines, they are often about something entirely different.
Thursday, the University of Michigan agreed to drop its court case against the Big Ten Conference. The legal drama stemmed from the conference’s three-game sideline ban of Wolverines head football coach (future Bears coach?) Jim Harbaugh. All of it comes amid the investigation into alleged impermissible, in-person sign-stealing by a member of the UM football staff. He being the aforementioned Connor Stallions.
By now, even the most passive sports fans have some passing knowledge of the “scandal.” It’s reached a level of cultural ignominy we haven’t seen in this country since the Manti Te’o or Deflategate sagas of the past decade.
What they all share is Americans love for the absurd. And hatred for elites.
There are so many ridiculous elements to this Michigan story (Stallions got into a dispute with his homeowners association over vacuum cleaners. It really happened) and ominous characters (who hasn’t had an ‘Uncle T’ in their lives at some point?) to hand Harlan Coben enough source material to pen his next fictional series.
But take the same circumstances with the same timeline of events, and have them happen at say, the University of Texas, I don’t think the story would capture the same degree of national interest. If Connor Stallions and Uncle T were pulling the same shenanigans in Knoxville instead of Ann Arbor, the story would still be a big deal, but not a talking point on corporate cable news outlets.
College football is primarily a regional sport. We all have our allegiances based on personal footprint. But regardless of whether we plant the flag in the Southeast or Atlantic or Midwest territories, we share a disdain for willful arrogance and accountability evasion. We want Michigan to fail not because we hate the Wolverines (although maybe you do but the players have nothing to do with it) but we repudiate how they flout authority. Whether we agree with the rule broken or not, there is honor in admission of digression. We can forgive the mischief. We won’t forget the affront to our intelligence.
How the season plays out for Michigan will determine just how impactful the punishment (Harbaugh three-game suspension). There likely could be more coming from the NCAA but any sanctions from them would be after the season and no one will really care as long as the games are played.
Years from now, just like with Tao and Deflategate, the Michigan yarn will forever live in cultural immortality. Chances of future documentary: 100 percent.
And America will finally get the Connor Stallions side of the story.
Let’s proceed with the Six.
1. DNC Clash Heightens Chicago Convention Concerns.
For anyone wondering why Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker took such an interest this week in the Chicago migrant crisis, here’s why: Chicago is hosting the 2024 DNC convention. When that happens, Pritzker wants to be the monarchial king showing off his streets of gold to the visiting high priests and priestesses. Can’t have pesky annoyances like illegals pitching tents all over the city or protests turning violent, as what occurred earlier this week in Washington as Politico reports.
2. The Truth About Law Enforcement And Crime.
Crime will be a popular talking point in the 2024 presidential campaign. It usually is every election cycle, its a matter of how the subject––and data––is framed. One consistency with crime narratives is how most politicians are not honest about it. This from an essay in City Journal: “Conservatives can call for re-policing all they want. Unless they explicitly discredit the idea that incarcerating black criminals is racist, however, Democratic politicians and policymakers will be able to use disparate rates of stops and arrests to roll back constitutional crime control whenever they have the power to do so.” We have no chance in this country of reversing crime trends––burglaries, car jackings way up––until there’s dialogue that leaves race out of the conversation.
3. What Really Happened to JFK?
A dogged reporter sifts through the secrets buried in the cache of documents released from the JFK Assassination archives, strongly suggesting that Oliver Stone’s sprawling 1991 film JFK might not have been the conspiracy crackpot production that was widely, reflexively dismissed. Among the long locked-away docs is a lot of dark stuff the CIA would rather you didn’t know. The documents seem to show that the "lone gunman" verdict was reached before the official Warren Commission inquiry even began and that Lee Harvey Oswald was, at very least, a "useful idiot" to the CIA. A long but compelling read for those still curious about arguably our country’s longest tragic mystery.
4. The Final Frontier For Helicopter Parents.
All parents who have kids in college miss them to some degree. They are also happy they are away at school––learning stuff, how to live independently, solve problems, and with a lot more space to figure out who they are and what they want to be. But some college parents don’t see it that way. As this article in The Cut explains, a group of parents have joined Facebook groups which they are using as a basis to attempt to micromanage their kids’ lives and solve all of their problems, both real and imagined. Scary stuff, unless, of course you are one of these parents who think this type of behavior is acceptable.
In this age of "absurd musical abundance,” it is easy to get trapped in a sonic loop of convenience that stays close to familiar artists and songs. Personally, my Apple curated streams lean towards 70s/80s hard rock––Van Halen, Motley, Zeppelin, AC/DC. Seeking out new music takes a little bit of ingenuity and effort. This article from Psyche recommends researching radio station playlists, movie soundtracks or even visiting a retail record shop. If a satellite radio subscriber, check out Channel 37. Lots of cool current hard rock by newer bands.
6. Deadly Cobra Invades Golf Course.
Golf is supposed to a serene and relaxing way to spend a day. You may encounter the occasional squirrel or rodent, but it’s otherwise free of confrontations with wildlife. Except in South Africa, apparently. When you build a golf course in the middle of a jungle, this is what you get. FORE! ain’t gonna cut it with this cobra.
Thanks for reading everybody and have a great rest of your weekend.
Have a suggestion for The Sunday Six? Send email to jonjkerr@gmail.com.